Become a TREASON LEADER!

Join the swelling ranks of those in the GOP who are willing to turn in others or put our National Security at risk by spilling the beans to anyone and everyone, especially those in the Media for Fun and Profit.

Once you've joined you can collect great gifts for each time you spit on the Constitution, just like Scooter Libby, Dick Cheney, and even the President himself! Extra points are accumulated for turning in CIA agents, or selling our ports to the same country that attacked New York City on 9/11.

Look at these great gifts you can earn below!

PRESIDENTIARY TOILETRIES!
Now you can use the toilet just like the President himself, cleaning his bum using the Constitution (aged to perfection), with an absorbancy that only the Founding Fathers of our Nation could have dreamed up, a toilet seat that you can actually Spend if the Tax breaks don't become permanent, and of course the fabulous Gee Dubya "Turd Polish" which came in so handy when selling the Iraq War. Thank god someone finally brought class, dignity and honor back to the White House, at least in the bathroom. It takes a lot of skill to wipe your rear with parchment, so don't let those liberals tell you that our President is clumsy or uncoordinated. Who knew there was an on/off switch on that stupid rolly thing full of computers that wouldn't let you fall? Sure, Cheney could ride it, but he was around when the wheel was invented.

100 Points will get you any one of these soon to be collector's items.

A DAY WITH THE PRESIDENT!
A complete day with the President himself, from the morning as his court assembles to dress and adore him, to his afternoon break and finally near the end of the day when the Vice President himself tucks our Leader into bed for the night. If he can catch him. Dick's not as fast as he used to be, that's why it pays for him to always carry a loaded shotgun, tho he very rarely shoots people in the FACE. Lucky for George that he has big strong men to shoot back.

200 Points will get you all this - add a suitcase full of money and drive a nukular submarine!

A NATURE WALK WITH THE VICE PRESIDENT!
Who wouldn't want to take a hike with our fabulous Vice President Dick Cheney? An all day jaunt, complete with an afternoon drinking binge while cleaning loaded rifles. but how can you resist the lure of big game hunting, the sound of wingless, tame birds raised in cages their whole lives being thrown at you like that scene in The Birds movie filmed by Hitchcock, only this time Cheney will have a SIX Thousand dollar shotgun full of fun. You might want to practice your ducking, bobbing and weaving or at least bone up on your apology skills. With any luck you'll get to keep SOME of your face, as Dick seems to have become hooked on shooting something in the face - keep to that 100 yard limit and you'll be fine.

300 Points gets you halfway to Heaven just that much quicker! Bring MONEY. Lots of it.

RUMMAGE AROUND IN THE WHITE HOUSE ATTIC
What could be more fun than rummaging around in the White House attic? Poking around in Prescott Bush's Hope Chest from way back in the Second World War, where you might find a touch of the early sweetness that went on to become the Bush Dynasty.

A doll that Prescott let the Bush Boys play with as youths, the hood ornament he used on his old autos before he could afford a limo, and best of all, you can peruse his personal Diary and learn all about the Good Old American Steel he sold to the Nazis that kept their tanks and guns running smoothly and lasting for what seemed like forever. Some things never change, tho to have more than one war profitteer in the family may seem like a big much, it's just the way this high strung group gets the job done.

400 Points if you keep your mouth shut, but if you have loose lips that could sink ships, then it's another hunting trip with Dick Cheney for you - at least they can grow skin in petri dishes now, so you're in luck!